First and foremost, before I get too far
into my post for this week, please know that I do not take the topic of divorce
lightly; not at all. But, like in a personal relationship, there are times when
a client relationship ends in divorce. And so, speaking from firsthand
experience, let me use my post this week to explain when a sales person (and
their company) must divorce a client.
Abusive relationships come in all shapes
and sizes, and certainly not just in our personal lives. In business too there
are abusive relationships. At times we do not see it as clearly as others may,
and when we do, something must be done to put a stop to it.
For four years my firm had what I would
call a so-so relationship with a client (Joe). Joe could be difficult to
understand at times. He played favorites amongst my team members, sometimes
praising one person, while refusing to acknowledge another. He would make
decisions and then a few weeks later would question why we took a certain
approach with his project. He did not remember he made the decision. But, there
were also times when we could do no wrong. On occasion he would shout from the
mountain tops that we did a great job and he even referred business to us.
As we moved through our third year of
business together and into our fourth year, his demeaner changed more
dramatically, and the praise one day and criticism the next became routine. We
sat in a meeting a few months ago and Joe loved everything we had done. Two
weeks later he hired a third-party agency and everything changed. He no longer
loved what we had produced, but now was questioning everything about the project.
Then things really took a turn for the worst.
Joe started to play games. As one of his
primary contacts he would call me, explain how he trusts me (and my firm),
referring to me as his trusted advisor, and that we were to answer only to him.
Three days later he called again, except we no longer answered to him, but now
we answered to the third-party agency. Just like that, overnight it seemed, we
were no longer his trusted advisors. We now answered to another group who did
not have the history or experience to handle the workload. But, nonetheless,
this was Joe’s wish.
When I voiced a “concern” about
recommendations this agency made, I was now viewed as causing trouble and “complaining”. Wow, I went from being a trusted advisor one
week to nothing more than “whining” the next. Except, no matter what changes
were taking place, we still were taking the high road and keeping an eye out for our clients best interests. He didn’t see it that way, and therefore damage
to the relationship was escalating.
Since we were to now answer to a
third-party agency, we did as we were told, because we needed to see the
project through to completion. The agency was calling the shots so much so that
we could not even have an audience with our own client. And so, we did as they
asked, and the project ultimately came to a conclusion. Now Joe feels we have
let him down. He is unhappy with the project process. He feels as though the
relationship has changed and it is entirely our fault. He refuses to allow us
to explain our belief on why things took a turn. And, he refuses to acknowledge
that he had any hand in the relationship going south.
Joe was abusive. He constantly played
games. It was his way or no way when it came to the relationship. Were we a
little blind to this behavior? Maybe we weren’t, as in my firm and team
members, but I was. I made a mistake by not bringing concerns to his attention
sooner. I believed the quality of the project would offset his behavior. But,
in the end, it did not. And so comes the
My firm and my team members are not to
blame. I take the blame. I turned a blind eye to Joe’s poor attitude and
behavior. He was abusive. He played games. At times I witnessed it and at times
I ignored it. I failed to be an ‘A’ level sales person in this instance. And
for this I have apologized to my firm and my team members. However, I will not
apologize to Joe. As in any abusive relationship, and subsequent break-up or
divorce, I will no longer be the victim. Joe may never come to realize or admit
his faults or role in the dissipation of our relationship. But, my twenty-plus
years of experience tells me that we are just one in a long line of firms that
he’ll chew through.